I don't wanna meet new people.I don't wanna try again.I just want you.But I can't have you.And that's the part that kills me.
CodeineBoy¹³
@Ahrimvn
سرزمین خورشید
Joined May 2026
@Ahrimvn5dPeople keep telling me to move on.Like it's that simple."Just forget him," they say.As if you were a bad dream.You weren't a bad dream.You were the best part of my life.And now I'm supposed to pretend you never existed
@Ahrimvn5dI tried to hate you.I really did.It would've been easier that way.But I can't.Because every time I try, I just remember your laugh.And then I miss you all over again.
@Ahrimvn5dMaybe that's what losing your mind really means.Not screaming.Not crying.Just sitting in the dark, whispering to a ghost that isn't even listening anymore.I HATEY LIFEI HATE THIS BS WORLDI HATE YOUI HATE MYSELD
@Ahrimvn5dI miss the old us.When we didn't know we were gonna fall apart.You used to make me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe.Now I can't even fake a smile without it hurting.I told myself I'd stop writing about you.But here I am.At 1 AM.Talking to no one.
@Ahrimvn5dI want some of that good stuff.I want to forget.I don't want to know what's going on around me, or what day it is.I don't want to understand why my friends leave and never come back.I don't want to know why everyone seems to hate me.Allah… do you even exist?
@Ahrimvn5dThe days of being a kid grandmother's house,the smell of her bedsheets,the big yard, the beautiful flowers.Just like you.Carefree, happy days.
@Ahrimvn5dMy eyes go dark like I'm dreaming.Or maybe not.Time has slipped away from me.The clock hands turn, running away, ignoring me.I feel like I'm getting old.Why did childhood end so fast?Why did my mother and father grow old so fast?Why did my friends leave so quickly?
@Ahrimvn5dI pushed you away.I told you you had to leave.Because of what others would say.Because of what a "man" is supposed to be.But I killed our childhood world.It's all my fault, isn't it?I haven't been the same person since that day.I lost my mind.
@Ahrimvn5dWe were so close.Like two brothers — maybe even closer.I remember our philosophical talks on that metal bench.You'd rest your head on my shoulder and cry,and I'd wipe your tears away.
@Ahrimvn5dlost my mind.I lie down on the grass and stare at the clouds.Like I'm searching for God up there… or maybe for you.I looked for you.But under grandmother's rug, there was nothing but old receipts.Ever since you left I think I lost my mind.
@Ahrimvn5dI lost my mind.Walked the same street a thousand times.I screamed, but no sound would leave me.My feet went numb, and I just kept crying.I lost my mind.I look at strangers passing by they just walk past me.Sometimes a memory hits me in the face, and I freeze.Sometimes I laugh for no reason.
@Ahrimvn6dIn the end it's all I really want:to see myself reflected back in parts through other people's eyeBellwetherManwomanchild
